Happy Mothers Day

Yesterday I got lots of calls.
Happy Mothers Day!
It's nice to be recognized
by your kids
by their friends.
It's nice.
But what's really nice about motherhood
is seeing the adults that you grow.
Although you never want to let go
you have to know...
“But kids don't stay with you if you do it right. 
It's the one job where, 
the better you are, 
the more surely you won't be needed in the long run.” ― Barbara Kingsolver, 
R. is one of these kids.
She exceeds my expectations
of what is good
and right.
Her ability to connect
is a gift we all secretly envy.
She just loves
with all of her heart
no matter who, how old
or what background you may be from.
This comes from being non-judgemental
(she definitely got that from me LOL!!!)
nurturing
(from her father for sure!)
and just plain giving.
This girl makes me proud.
In a million ways.
Proud to be her Mother
for sure.
Honored to be her friend.

Took me a few hours to make this layout.
Layering
and
inking
and
more layering.
Trying to use up all my stash
before I allow myself to buy more.
That could take years
but I am determined.
(well maybe not ALL my stash.
come on lets be realistic.)

Happy Birthday Shlam.

I read a great book this weekend.
The Light Between The Oceans by M.L. Stedman.
It is about the all consuming desire of motherhood
regardless of personal pain, sacrifice and lies.
Great read.
Thought provoking.
Having children is undoubtedly the greatest gift of life.
The ultimate leap of faith.
Trusting that the world
in to which we bring this child,
will provide them with great things.
A joy as deep as pain.
An agony as exhilarating as pleasure.
When you make loving and caring for others
the story of your life
there is never a final chapter.
The joy continues on always.
Page after page.
When they were young
I was their teacher
but as they grow older
I am more often the student.
The older generation has a different take on this.
When I gently protest to my mother
"Ma, I'm a middle aged woman.
I think I know what I'm doing."
She responds
"I'm still older than you."
Toni Morrison writes in Beloved
"Grown don't mean a thing to a mother.
A child is a child.
They get bigger, older, but grown?
What's that supposed to mean?
In my heart it don't mean a thing."
Yet I still maintain my children can teach me much.
Shlam, you teach me to have empathy.
Understanding of differences.
Acceptance.
Perseverance.
You show me
that being your mother
is (and I quote)
"finding a piece of yourself 
separate and apart
that all the same
you could not live without" -jodi picoult
Happy Birthday Shlam.
May this year bring you
wonder and joy
new experiences
and what every mother wants
HAPPINESS.
Love you.

Being a mother is the great gift of life...

Took 54 years to truly enjoy...

“In truth a family is what you make it. 
It is made strong, not by number of heads counted at the dinner table, 
but by the rituals you help family members create, 
by the memories you share, 
by the commitment of time, 
caring, 
and 
love you show to one another, 
and 
by the hopes for the future you have as individuals and as a unit.”
― Marge Kennedy

So it took me 54 years to truly enjoy Pesach.
And it was worth the wait.
Do you want to know what ENJOY means?
Having all my children under one roof
fast asleep...
Walking towards the kitchen in the morning
knowing
as I turn the corner
little humans will be running towards me
shrieking
bubbieeeeee.....
as the wrap their little arms
around my legs.
Listening from the other room
to the bursts of laughter
coming from my children
loving each other through teasing
as only a family has permission to do.
Knowing all the while
they are building bonds
stronger than steel
never to be broken.
Gathering together
twice a day
for a delicious meal
and accepting authentic praise
for making yummy food
out of 5 ingredients
for 7 days.
Sharing private minutes with each of my children
reconnecting through hugs and kisses
listening
and hearing
who they are
who they've become
and who I am becoming
through their process.
Because at the end of the day
my children is the sum of all my parts.
When they leave I focus back on myself.
I am left with lessons learned
from my children
(and there are many
which I will slowly share
as they become part of me).
Enjoyment
is being in the moment.
We had 10 days of
intense
sweet
meaningful
light
awesome
moments.
Because at the end of the day
it's not about how much we have
it's about how much we enjoy...

.I love hand stitching on a layout about family.
It feels cozy!

New and Improved....

Dear Sarale,

If I would have been born in this day and age

I probably would have been you.

When I am with you

I see myself.

My genes

your expression.

My strengths

your accomplishments.

My humor

your laughter.

My heart

your tears.

My commitment to family

your love for your family.
My candor
your honesty.
My perseverance
your spunk.
In my eyes
you are the new and improved version of me.
Each day to me is a fresh start to try again.
You are a constant work in progress.
Every day is a welcome experience for a new challenge.
To take a lesson from.
In order to become a better person.
To delight in.
To explore.
That's you.
That's me.
Love you alot....
                                MA

"As long as you could find yourself, you'll never starve" - Suzanne Collins

Does social media make me relevant?

Each time I learn something new in the social media arena
I feel relevant.
I'm not gonna lie
I have this fear of being left behind.
I want my children and grandchildren to keep me in the loop.
How can I possibly do that without whatsapp?
or instagram?
What if they're discussing google glass and I bring them a bottle of water!?
I'm pretty sure they will have a great laugh
at my expense!
This month was my Birthday
and
my amazing kids gifted me with
drumroll....
an IPhone.
I've been lusting for it
but was afraid to commit.
Now I'm a happy Mama
sending silly snapchats
instagrams
and chatting about apps
in a casual grown-up way.
I have to admit
I even feel more confident with it.
I mean,
now I will never be lost (google maps)
be hungry (google kosher restaraunts closest to where you are)
forget to Daven (app for siddur)
have an excuse not to say Chitas (yep you can download that too)
keep up with breaking news (collive)
deposit my check with a click of the camera (awesome!)
listen to music
you get the idea....
Makes you a more complete person.
I think.
Or does it?
As I've posted before here
I have a drawer full of pictures.
I randomly choose one
when the mood strikes me.
I picked up this photo and stared closely at it.
Suddenly I realized something.
I had a powerful 'aha' moment.
What makes us relevant as parents is LOVE.
I see a young mother,
full of hope
loving her children
dressed beautifully
posing for the camera
wanting to save the feeling of pride
in herself and in her children,
for posterity.
I am just like her
She was just like me.
My grandmother and I are exactly the same.
Without all the fancy gadgets.
All we want
is to give love
to receive love
and to look fabulous while we do it!
75 years have passed since that picture was taken,
but I can almost hear the sounds of the birds in the backround,
smell the spray starch on the children's linen dresses,
feel the softness of the cotton beret,
that undoubtedly my grandmother lovingly crocheted,
as my mother rested her cheek against her mother.
I look closer and I see
hope
gratitude and
peace
on my grandmothers face.
Like all us mothers,
Relevance is being a loving person.
My grandmother was relevant.

It took me time to put this layout together.

I wanted to do the picture justice.

I think I did...

I love noise, I love silence...

“To make the right choices in life, 
you have to get in touch with your soul. 
To do this, 
you need to experience solitude, 
which most people are afraid of, 
because in the silence you hear the truth and know the solutions.” 
― Deepak Chopra

A wonderful insight....

I love noise.
I love silence.
In noise I get to connect with others.
In silence I get to connect with myself.
Knitting is the way I use silence to be productive.
I need to create while I meditate.
When I knit and it's noisy
it feels like I'm swimming against the current.
Knitting has always been something I've enjoyed.
Been doing it since I'm a little girl.
I remember as a teenager
knitting through the night
in my room
listening to music.
There's nothing that brings me back
as when I knit and listen to oldies...
I'm working on preparing different knitting projects.
I need to have one or two going at any given time.
Lucky for me I met a friend who is a knitting genius.
She worked in knitting all her life and creates patterns.
Knowing her inspires me to step out of my comfort zone.
There is so much to learn.
If I could exist without sleep
I would knit through the nights.
The only downside is...
I SHOULD BE EXERCISING INSTEAD!

Here is a sneak peek of one I'm working on.
First one is my favorite pattern - chevron.
I love knitting or crocheting chevron.
When I am done
this will be a gorgeous
expensive,
10's of hours worth
of love
(crocheting is slower than knitting sometimes)
AFGHAN.
Here is the first panel.

So that's it for now.
While I keep busy with my new IPhone,
Words With Friends, (facebook game)
knitting,
scrapbooking
and working,
I will continue to contemplate life
and learn something new every day.

Happy Birthday Shloime...

Every single day
since you were born
you have added something so amazing to our world.
I can't imagine our family without you in it...
Happy Birthday, my beloved son.

I love making little books that flip open to reveal a bunch of pictures.
It tells a little story all on it's own.

I love this passage so much.
“We’re so caught up in our everyday lives 
that events of the past, 
like ancient stars that have burned out, 
are no longer in orbit around our minds. 
There are just too many things we have to think about every day, 
too many new things we have to learn. 
New styles, 
new information, 
new technology, 
new terminology … 
But still, 
no matter how much time passes, 
no matter what takes place in the interim, 
there are some things we can never assign to oblivion, 
memories we can never rub away. 
They remain with us forever, like a touchstone.” 
― Haruki Murakami, Kafka on the Shore

When I am being creative, I am happy...

I finally finished my sweater.
Lo and behold it's actually cold enough to wear it today.
How crazy is that?
50 degrees in Miami.
So it took me 30 hours to make this and I get to wear it for an hour or two.
That's how quickly the cold weather passes through.
But I couldn't care less how long it takes.
Because it's the process I enjoy.
Why rush it?
The fun and the healing benefits are in the process.
And the satisfaction...
Oh the satisfaction...
of making a sweater without a pattern.
What a great mood booster.

I cannot understand how anyone can live without a hobby.
There are a great deal of reasons that having a hobby is important to your well being.
Relaxation, pleasure, discovering your talent, connecting with people
are just a few to consider.
For me
the most important benefit would be
exploring myself through my hobby.
Whether I am reading, playing piano, jewelry making, baking, knitting, or scrapbooking
i discover something new about myself in the process.
Especially as I get older.
Discovery taps in to my youthful spirit.
It's new.
It's fresh.
It hasn't been done yet.
I am the only one who can do something uniquely me.
How exciting is that?
(oy, do I need a craft room...)

Do you know what else boosts the mood?
Great friends.
I am dedicating this layout to my wise and loving friend.
As I was struggling with some choices
she simply said
"Just show up.
That way,
when opportunity knocks
you will be there to open the door!"
When someone says the right thing
at the right moment
it's worth remembering.
Thanx  Arlene.

And last but not least
here is my newest love of my life.
Each child adds dimension to your life you can't imagine being without.
On weekdays I can watch little video snips I receive from the kids
but on Shabbos
I need my scrapbook pages.
To sit quietly
peacefully
savoring each little picture
as they deserve to be savored.
Appreciating all my blessings
in a conscious, present awareness.

I really wish you could all share in this amazing hobby.
Try it.
I've said it before and I'll say it again -
there is no wrong way to do it.
There is only YOUR way.

8 years ago I was a friend at Rochi's Bas Mitzva.

Now I am an AUNT invited for lunch!
It's crazy.
And it's wonderful...

Gotta have a camera to blog a good post!

How can I blog if my camera broke?
No post is fun without pictures.
Com'on
how many of you really read...
most of you just look at the pictures and move on to the next blog!
So I'm a little bummed out right now.
(What does bummed out even mean?)
Can't take pictures of my projects
so I guess I'll have to borrow a camera
(which I won't do
because my luck
it will drop and break
in which case I will have to buy a camera anyway
and give it to someone else to replace the one I broke
so I guess that leaves me with one option)
find money and buy one.
Rochelle
any suggestions which one to get?
Should I just get an iphone instead?
Anyone out there who posts great scrapbook layouts
I NEED YOUR HELP HERE.

“You can't wait for inspiration. You have to go after it with a club.”

I woke up early this morning fresh with inspiration.
This weekend I opened my eyes and searched for joyfullness in all things that came my way.
And find I did.
I found it in 'Shul' through Prayer, Friendships and a little bit of vodka!
I found it at home connecting with my beautiful DD.
On Lincoln Road,
gasping at the new design in the window of Anthropologie
talking to this artist in his studio at the ART CENTER on Lincoln Road.
stumbling across an outdoor concert of magnificent classical music
and by reading WILD by Cheryl Strayed from the first page till the last.
But most importantly
I am intoxicated with excitement
anticipating my kids coming to visit this week.
And that is what got me out of bed early
and with great enthusiasm
I created 2 layouts.
I want to remember how I feel today.
And I will.
Because of these works of love.
How will you remember how you feel today...

 

Our new baby is coming home to me.

I can't wait to see how she's grown and changed in the 3 months I haven't seen her.

 

 

I've bee working on this canvas all week.

Every day I look at it and add something else.

Until I feel like it's done.

 

 

So there you have it.
Now you know what I did this morning.

“I knew that if I allowed fear to overtake me, my journey was doomed. Fear, to a great extent, is born of a story we tell ourselves, and so I chose to tell myself a different story from the one women are told. I decided I was safe. I was strong. I was brave. Nothing could vanquish me.”

-Cheryl Strayed 'WILD'

“Which of all my important nothings shall I tell you first?” ― Jane Austen

Friends.
I bet you knows what that word means.
Or do you?
Today, in 2013, when you say the word 'friends'
you automatically think of FACEBOOK.
How many friends do you have?
It's a competitive question.
And anyone younger than 30 knows this means FACEBOOK friends!
It might be more accurate to ask -
'how many close friends do you have'?
When you make friends in pre-school your needs are pure and basic.
be nice
share snacks
pick me first in a game
save a chair for me
and
never get angry at me.
Do it once and we are no longer best friends.
The most important thing for me in a friendship
is knowing that the more I talk to my friend
the more I find out about myself.

"The greatest good you can do for another is not just to share your riches but to reveal to him his own. "

~ Benjamin Disraeli

This is what I have learned to be true friendship.

“When we honestly ask ourselves which person in our lives mean the most to us, 
we often find that it is those who, 
instead of giving advice, 
solutions, 
or cures, 
have chosen rather to share our pain 
and touch our wounds with a warm and tender hand. 
The friend who can be silent with us in a moment of despair or confusion, 
who can stay with us in an hour of grief and bereavement, 
who can tolerate not knowing, 
not curing, 
not healing 
and face with us the reality of our powerlessness, 
that is a friend who cares.” 

I am lucky enough to have a friend who guides me with these valuable lessons.

I love my friend.
I want to skip rope with her.
I want to share my muffin with her (if only she ate junk food like i do!)
I want her to hold my hand for the good and the bad.
and
I want to be a friend to her as she is to me.
When I ask her why she loves me she says simply
...you're my friend...

“Without art, the crudeness of reality would make the world unbearable.” ― George Bernard Shaw

Last week I was asked to do an art/craft class with the girls from Chaya Mushka Seminary in Hallandale.
Now I'm no artist.
But I love making things.
Scrap booking  is my way of  expressing my artsy side.
Lots of people know this about me.
Oftentimes someone will express that I am 'talented'.
I always tell them it's not 'talent'.
It's 'interest'.
I'm interested.
Therefore I am talented.
Which means that anyone can express themselves in an artistic fasion.
Art is subjective.
It expressive the mood, the passion, the dream, the vision
of the artist.
Is there any one way to do that?
As many people as there are on this earth
is as many different ways there are to express art.

• I know an artist who painted a canvas black, added a white dot in the center and called it art - he sold the canvas for $35,000.00 to an idiot who thought it was an original concept. To him, that is art. To me, it's a joke!

  A graffiti artist paints his masterpiece on your garage door. To him and people that admire graffiti, he's and artist. To you, he's a vandal. That isn't art on your garage door in your mind, it's just a bunch of  paint that you now have to scrub off.

  
  

  Which brings me to my point.

  All of you could make art.

  Try it.

  It's a blast!

  
  

  

  
  

  I started with old sheets of music and sprayed them with ink.

  (BIG MESS)

  Them I took a blank canvas.

  covered it with torn pieces of inked paper

  lots of Mod Podge.

  used white cardstock and wrote a quote.

  Voila!

  ART!

  The girls had the best time.

  
  

  

  
  

  
  

  
  

Here are the ones I made as samples.

So many ways to express oneself.
  (this message is to my kids:
   if you have a favorite quote
   let me know
   I will make it for you!!!)
If you are not my kid
MAKE IT YOURSELF!
Well at least try.
E-mail me with any questions you may have.
faygiefelligrox@aol.com
I will help you get your artistic inner self going.
I know you have it in you...

...and that is my resolution...

“Not all of us can do great things. But we can do small things with great love.”

I have been accused of loving 'my' knitting, scrapbooking, crafting
more than anything in the whole world.
The truth is
I love being busy.
I love color.
I love using my hands.
(used to play the piano)
I love creating somehing uniquely mine.
I love baking too.
But that doesn't last for eternity.
(Except on my hips.)
I love the idea that I might make something that could become an hierloom.
Imagine my great great great granchild wondering who I was.
Or possibly identifying with her namesake...
(now I'm getting carried away!)
The truth is I love to create.
Period.
I'm working on a sweater for myself.
It will be fun to see how it comes out
being that I'm not using a pattern.
The colors are totally me.
Hope I finish it before it gets cold here.

“Every day is an opportunity to be creative – the canvas is your mind, the brushes and colours are your thoughts and feelings, the panorama is your story, the complete picture is a work of art called, ‘my life’. Be careful what you put on the canvas of your mind today – it matters.” — Innerspace

I got this in the mail the other day.
I love that the school took the time out to send a picture of the artist and art to Bubbies all across the world.
It hangs on my fridg.
(painted black with chalk paint.
for another post.)

....and I'm also working on these two projects...

This will be an afghan I am commissioned to do for a client!

This will be an afghan I am doing for myself.

So there you have it.
Keeping busy.
How do you keep yourself occupied?
remember...

Don't let the fear of the time it will take to accomplish something stand in the way of your doing it. The time will pass anyway; we might just as well put that passing time to the best possible use.
Earl Nightingale

Great News!

A few months ago I got a call from my DD.
"Ma open your email".
I ran to the computor while I kept her on the phone.
She was laughing and crying at the same time as I whooped in happiness.
THIS is what scrapbooking is for.
Isn't this the most wonderful way to break such awesome news!!!

So here we are months later with the most precious gift Hashem in his goodness bestowed upon us.
I immediately started knitting a beautiful little package to wrap this wonderful present in.
White is the perfect color for any newborn.
I found this luxurious pattern on RAVELRY and got to work.
I used the most delicious soft silky yarn.
With every stitch I knit I thanked Hashem for his infinite goodness in my life....

 

(Don't you all want to learn how to knit now?)

My beautiful little grandaughter is named after my grandmother.

 

 

I was very close to my grandmother.

I was fortunate to spend 7 wonderful years with her here in Miami Beach.

Her 'joi de vivre' was contageous.

She taught me alot about what it means to be happy.

Amazingly at 72 she began to paint.

Her "golden hands",

her eye for colour and composition

united with her irrepressible exuberance 

produced scenes of Jewish life which touched the viewer

with the simplicity and authenticity of her perception.

She composed poetry in Yiddish

which was published in Jewish newspapers.

Eventually my grandmother self published a little book of all her poems.

What is most impressive to me is no matter how involved she was in her creativity

(and she burnt many a pot as she painted the hours away...)

to her a day without an act of charity was impossible.

She loved people and used her upbeat personality to raise funds.

She carefully collected and saved enough money to put a down payment for a Yeshiva in Montreal.

She found joy in everything she did.

I remember one time we were going out to a gathering.

She asked me to put a little blush and lipstick on her.

She said "I know noone is looking at me, but still..."

She oftentimes told me she feels so young but her body is betraying her!

 

 

 

 

My grandmother would have appreciated the many talents of my children.

I wish....

Never mind.

It is when I scrapook these precious pictures of the past

that I come to appreciate what my Grandparents meant to me.

I am so grateful for this meaningful hobby.

My life is enriched by it.

 

 

 

 



“Don’t think. Thinking is the enemy of creativity. It’s self-conscious, and anything self-conscious is lousy. You can’t try to do things. You simply must do things” – Ray Bradbury

I've been missing these kids alot!
So much that I've actually been inspired to scrapbook a layout.
You know I love doing this.
ALOT!
But I have no special place to unload all my stuff and....
Wait - I've already whined about this.
So moving on
I made this layout in anticipation of seeing my girls...
very soon I"H!
I must admit that part of the reason I become so inhibited about my scrapping
is because of all you fantastic, creative, off the charts artistic ladies on the web.
It's a double edged sword for me.
I feel inspired by my favorite scrappers
and then I feel totally intimidated.
I still love what I do.
But it does get to you when you see women who are so beyond talented.
Each page is a work of art.
Truly good enough to hang in a gallery.
And that's when I stop and remind myself it's only about the memories.
That's why I started doing it.
And that's why I continue.
So I am not the fanciest and most knowledgeable girl on all the ways you wonderful ladies get the work done in a way I never could...
But I can do it my way.

I've also been knitting in anticipation of something exciting.
I'll show you what that is very soon...

And most importantly
this week is CHANUKAH.
We started this wonderful tradition in my family when the kids became independent enough to spend their own money.
Each one of us gets a name in the family that remains a secret until Chanukah.
We give that person a gift.
Part of the condition is that as we open our surprise gift we take a short video and send it out for all of us to see.
Being that we are all not in the same city.
It's really a great way to experience Yom tov 'together' without necessarily being together.
Of course the little ones get gifts from each one of us.
This year I got a gift I will cherish forever and always.
My oldest DD ordered my blog in a book.
I am so touched by her thoughtfulness.
She knows me too well.
And she loves me so good!
I'll show it to you guys when I get it.

And here's a moment of my weekend that was so nice...

 

 

It's only when I see the picture that I process what I feet at the time...

 

Love you Shlam

  

Vincent Van Gogh

 

“The most thoroughly wasted of all days is that on which one has not laughed.”

I love comic strips.
I used to get the paper every morning and that's the first place I would go to.
To be a comic artist you have to be
super talented
smart,
funny,
knowledgable,
and lucky enough to get published.
The other day I picked a book off my shelf and looked at it again with newfound respect.
The first time I read it was many years ago.
Too young to appreciate most of the advice give by the incomparable RABBI TWERSKY.
But now that I have more life experience
I can appreciate and understand the message of his wisdom.
What's so great about this book for me is the marriage of comic strip genius
CHARLES M.SHULZ
and
ABRAHAM J. TWERSKY, M.D.
It doesn't get more brilliant than this.
That's when I realized why I love comic strips so much.
I used to feel embarrased to admit it.
Sounded kind of juvenile.
But when I found this book I knew I was on to something...

I even used a funny little comic to describe my Sarale's addiction at age 12!
It was a cute way to document her 'favorites' .

Nothing fancy.
Yet I'm glad I did this.
Now it's 8 years later...
(BTW my friend Esther told me I could read as many comic strips as I like right here!
So now I have more reason to waste time at the computor.
and loving every minute of it!)

 I especially love MAXINE
 She cracks me up every time.

So there you have it!
Go look for a cute comic strip that you relate to and LOL.
Not a text LOL.
A real laugh out loud belly laugh.