Happy Mothers Day

Yesterday I got lots of calls.
Happy Mothers Day!
It's nice to be recognized
by your kids
by their friends.
It's nice.
But what's really nice about motherhood
is seeing the adults that you grow.
Although you never want to let go
you have to know...
“But kids don't stay with you if you do it right. 
It's the one job where, 
the better you are, 
the more surely you won't be needed in the long run.” ― Barbara Kingsolver, 
R. is one of these kids.
She exceeds my expectations
of what is good
and right.
Her ability to connect
is a gift we all secretly envy.
She just loves
with all of her heart
no matter who, how old
or what background you may be from.
This comes from being non-judgemental
(she definitely got that from me LOL!!!)
nurturing
(from her father for sure!)
and just plain giving.
This girl makes me proud.
In a million ways.
Proud to be her Mother
for sure.
Honored to be her friend.

Took me a few hours to make this layout.
Layering
and
inking
and
more layering.
Trying to use up all my stash
before I allow myself to buy more.
That could take years
but I am determined.
(well maybe not ALL my stash.
come on lets be realistic.)

Happy Birthday Shlam.

I read a great book this weekend.
The Light Between The Oceans by M.L. Stedman.
It is about the all consuming desire of motherhood
regardless of personal pain, sacrifice and lies.
Great read.
Thought provoking.
Having children is undoubtedly the greatest gift of life.
The ultimate leap of faith.
Trusting that the world
in to which we bring this child,
will provide them with great things.
A joy as deep as pain.
An agony as exhilarating as pleasure.
When you make loving and caring for others
the story of your life
there is never a final chapter.
The joy continues on always.
Page after page.
When they were young
I was their teacher
but as they grow older
I am more often the student.
The older generation has a different take on this.
When I gently protest to my mother
"Ma, I'm a middle aged woman.
I think I know what I'm doing."
She responds
"I'm still older than you."
Toni Morrison writes in Beloved
"Grown don't mean a thing to a mother.
A child is a child.
They get bigger, older, but grown?
What's that supposed to mean?
In my heart it don't mean a thing."
Yet I still maintain my children can teach me much.
Shlam, you teach me to have empathy.
Understanding of differences.
Acceptance.
Perseverance.
You show me
that being your mother
is (and I quote)
"finding a piece of yourself 
separate and apart
that all the same
you could not live without" -jodi picoult
Happy Birthday Shlam.
May this year bring you
wonder and joy
new experiences
and what every mother wants
HAPPINESS.
Love you.

Being a mother is the great gift of life...

Took 54 years to truly enjoy...

“In truth a family is what you make it. 
It is made strong, not by number of heads counted at the dinner table, 
but by the rituals you help family members create, 
by the memories you share, 
by the commitment of time, 
caring, 
and 
love you show to one another, 
and 
by the hopes for the future you have as individuals and as a unit.”
― Marge Kennedy

So it took me 54 years to truly enjoy Pesach.
And it was worth the wait.
Do you want to know what ENJOY means?
Having all my children under one roof
fast asleep...
Walking towards the kitchen in the morning
knowing
as I turn the corner
little humans will be running towards me
shrieking
bubbieeeeee.....
as the wrap their little arms
around my legs.
Listening from the other room
to the bursts of laughter
coming from my children
loving each other through teasing
as only a family has permission to do.
Knowing all the while
they are building bonds
stronger than steel
never to be broken.
Gathering together
twice a day
for a delicious meal
and accepting authentic praise
for making yummy food
out of 5 ingredients
for 7 days.
Sharing private minutes with each of my children
reconnecting through hugs and kisses
listening
and hearing
who they are
who they've become
and who I am becoming
through their process.
Because at the end of the day
my children is the sum of all my parts.
When they leave I focus back on myself.
I am left with lessons learned
from my children
(and there are many
which I will slowly share
as they become part of me).
Enjoyment
is being in the moment.
We had 10 days of
intense
sweet
meaningful
light
awesome
moments.
Because at the end of the day
it's not about how much we have
it's about how much we enjoy...

.I love hand stitching on a layout about family.
It feels cozy!

New and Improved....

Dear Sarale,

If I would have been born in this day and age

I probably would have been you.

When I am with you

I see myself.

My genes

your expression.

My strengths

your accomplishments.

My humor

your laughter.

My heart

your tears.

My commitment to family

your love for your family.
My candor
your honesty.
My perseverance
your spunk.
In my eyes
you are the new and improved version of me.
Each day to me is a fresh start to try again.
You are a constant work in progress.
Every day is a welcome experience for a new challenge.
To take a lesson from.
In order to become a better person.
To delight in.
To explore.
That's you.
That's me.
Love you alot....
                                MA

"As long as you could find yourself, you'll never starve" - Suzanne Collins

Does social media make me relevant?

Each time I learn something new in the social media arena
I feel relevant.
I'm not gonna lie
I have this fear of being left behind.
I want my children and grandchildren to keep me in the loop.
How can I possibly do that without whatsapp?
or instagram?
What if they're discussing google glass and I bring them a bottle of water!?
I'm pretty sure they will have a great laugh
at my expense!
This month was my Birthday
and
my amazing kids gifted me with
drumroll....
an IPhone.
I've been lusting for it
but was afraid to commit.
Now I'm a happy Mama
sending silly snapchats
instagrams
and chatting about apps
in a casual grown-up way.
I have to admit
I even feel more confident with it.
I mean,
now I will never be lost (google maps)
be hungry (google kosher restaraunts closest to where you are)
forget to Daven (app for siddur)
have an excuse not to say Chitas (yep you can download that too)
keep up with breaking news (collive)
deposit my check with a click of the camera (awesome!)
listen to music
you get the idea....
Makes you a more complete person.
I think.
Or does it?
As I've posted before here
I have a drawer full of pictures.
I randomly choose one
when the mood strikes me.
I picked up this photo and stared closely at it.
Suddenly I realized something.
I had a powerful 'aha' moment.
What makes us relevant as parents is LOVE.
I see a young mother,
full of hope
loving her children
dressed beautifully
posing for the camera
wanting to save the feeling of pride
in herself and in her children,
for posterity.
I am just like her
She was just like me.
My grandmother and I are exactly the same.
Without all the fancy gadgets.
All we want
is to give love
to receive love
and to look fabulous while we do it!
75 years have passed since that picture was taken,
but I can almost hear the sounds of the birds in the backround,
smell the spray starch on the children's linen dresses,
feel the softness of the cotton beret,
that undoubtedly my grandmother lovingly crocheted,
as my mother rested her cheek against her mother.
I look closer and I see
hope
gratitude and
peace
on my grandmothers face.
Like all us mothers,
Relevance is being a loving person.
My grandmother was relevant.

It took me time to put this layout together.

I wanted to do the picture justice.

I think I did...

I love noise, I love silence...

“To make the right choices in life, 
you have to get in touch with your soul. 
To do this, 
you need to experience solitude, 
which most people are afraid of, 
because in the silence you hear the truth and know the solutions.” 
― Deepak Chopra

A wonderful insight....

I love noise.
I love silence.
In noise I get to connect with others.
In silence I get to connect with myself.
Knitting is the way I use silence to be productive.
I need to create while I meditate.
When I knit and it's noisy
it feels like I'm swimming against the current.
Knitting has always been something I've enjoyed.
Been doing it since I'm a little girl.
I remember as a teenager
knitting through the night
in my room
listening to music.
There's nothing that brings me back
as when I knit and listen to oldies...
I'm working on preparing different knitting projects.
I need to have one or two going at any given time.
Lucky for me I met a friend who is a knitting genius.
She worked in knitting all her life and creates patterns.
Knowing her inspires me to step out of my comfort zone.
There is so much to learn.
If I could exist without sleep
I would knit through the nights.
The only downside is...
I SHOULD BE EXERCISING INSTEAD!

Here is a sneak peek of one I'm working on.
First one is my favorite pattern - chevron.
I love knitting or crocheting chevron.
When I am done
this will be a gorgeous
expensive,
10's of hours worth
of love
(crocheting is slower than knitting sometimes)
AFGHAN.
Here is the first panel.

So that's it for now.
While I keep busy with my new IPhone,
Words With Friends, (facebook game)
knitting,
scrapbooking
and working,
I will continue to contemplate life
and learn something new every day.

Happy Birthday Shloime...

Every single day
since you were born
you have added something so amazing to our world.
I can't imagine our family without you in it...
Happy Birthday, my beloved son.

I love making little books that flip open to reveal a bunch of pictures.
It tells a little story all on it's own.

I love this passage so much.
“We’re so caught up in our everyday lives 
that events of the past, 
like ancient stars that have burned out, 
are no longer in orbit around our minds. 
There are just too many things we have to think about every day, 
too many new things we have to learn. 
New styles, 
new information, 
new technology, 
new terminology … 
But still, 
no matter how much time passes, 
no matter what takes place in the interim, 
there are some things we can never assign to oblivion, 
memories we can never rub away. 
They remain with us forever, like a touchstone.” 
― Haruki Murakami, Kafka on the Shore