I never got to go to Greece...

I never got to travel the world and collect stuff from thrift shops to remind me of everything....
I never got to go to art school...
I never got to become a personal trainer...
I never got to hike for a week all by myself...
I never got to go to a fashion show and sit next to Anna Wintour...
I never got to become a famous author...
(don't really want that, just want to write like one)
I never got to be on Shlichus...
I never got to take voice lessons...
I never got to be the one with a good memory...
I never got to be the girl who dyes her hair blue and gets away with it...
(doesn't mean I'm not frum, it just means I'm arsty!)
I never got to live in Manhattan and walk walk walk...
I never got to go to Greece..
Or Spain...
or Venice...
or the Grand Canyon...
I never got to take dance lessons...
or become a makeup artist...
I never got to go to a JLI retreat...
I never got to learn mosaics...
I never got to become a therapist...
(ok maybe that one I did. After all I'm a Sheitel-macher)
I never got to become an excellent quilter...
or a media artist
or a jewelry designer
or even a cake artist...
I never got to wander through used book stores...
I never got to have my own art/craft room where I could throw paint on the walls...
I never got to bike across America...
I never got to write a cookbook...
I never got to publish a Scrapbooking for Everyone by Faygie Fellig...
I never got to lock myself away and create for days on end...
I never got to 'choose' where what and why...
But what I did get was
beautiful children
who nurture me,
encourage me
and make every day significant in various meaningful ways..
eg.
They respond to my jokes
(lol, lmao, ma you crack me up)
push me to take care of myself
cheer me on when I undertake new projects.
They keep me up to date and relevant.
I know how to use and Iphone
navigate the computer
and watch Ted.com.
Seeing life through their eyes is all the adventure I need.
Ups, downs and arounds,
it's what Hashem chose for me.
and that makes it amazing.
 ......which brings me to

I'm working on something new.
I want to paint on a canvas.
It's a first for me.
Very intimidating.
No idea where to start.
But start I did.
We'll see where it takes me.
First draft...
Started with some paint

a few hours later I had this

'patchkied' around till I finished with this

Not done yet.

We'll see...

Maybe I'll add some of this

or a quote....

hmmm.....

or paint over the whole damn thing.(I sense frustration!)

IDK! 

but I'll keep you posted....

Art is the only way to run away without leaving home. Twyla Tharp

A hug from far...

There is no greater blessing than birthing a child.
When I got married I was young and naive.
I thought having children was a given.
What did I know about the world?
All I knew was my own little corner
in Crown Heights.
I had never even gone overseas until I was married.
Seems impossible now to imagine
how information needed to be accessed through sheer will
versus today
when you can plop down in front of a computer
and sit in a chair
casually drinking coffee
as you access the entire world
without burning one single calorie!
And the years speed by,
making the memories of my youth appear so simple and uncomplicated.
There is still one basic human function
which never changes.
Having children would be the one life experience
that connects us to our ancestors.
There is no 'more improved' way to experience a natural miracle.
We all are one, united in that moment
when Hashem grants us the gift of life.
Allowing us to feel a tiny moment of creation in it's essence.
How grateful I am for this awesomeness in my life.
Having children
and watching my children have children.
It leaves me trembling with gratitude.
Nothing compares...
I don't live near all my grandchildren so I don't get to hug and kiss them as much as I would like.
What I do instead is KNIT.
Each stitch represents a little kiss I string together
to create something they can wrap around themselves
as a substitute for a hug.
When my grandson was born I made a soft yummy blanket.

A hug from Bubby.

I love this pattern.

Now he is  a year older and needs a much bigger hug.

Now here's a lot of huggin!

I hope I can keep making hugs for many years 

for as many miracles as Hashem will grant me.